How to annoy the Akatsuki
by Freak Artist
Summary: Ever wanted to annoy the Akatsuki? Just remember to run for your life... I suggest either distracting them with sake, or glueing them to each other. My first fanfic so please r&r.
1. Deidara

15 ways to annoy Deidara

1. Dress him up like a girl

2. Ask him if he's a girl

3. Do #2 over and over and over…

4. Steal his cloak and change the clouds from red to hot pink

5. Steal his clay and replace it with play-doh

6. Run around like a crazed-hyperactive loony with Tobi

7. Ask him if you can braid his hair

8. Steal his nail polish

9. When he's in a bad mood, ask him if it's his time of the month

10. Side with Sasori and tell him art is immortal over and over and over…

11. Follow him around screaming "DEIDARA AND TOBI ARE BRINGING SEXY BACK!!"

12. Cut his hair off while he is asleep

13. Glue him to Zetsu (when Zetsu is hungry…)

14. Glue him to Sasori

15. Glue him to Tobi


	2. Sasori

A/N: I do not own Naruto

15 ways to annoy Sasori

1. Ask him which way he swings

2. Steal his puppets and replace them with sock puppets

3. Run around like a maniac with Deidara, blowing stuff up, and calling it art

4. Yell "Art is a BANG!!" in his ear. Blow something up in his face.

5. Do #4 over and over and over and over…

6. Keep him waiting for 12 hours

7. Ask him if his nose grows when he lies

8. Remind him he is going to die. A lot.

9. Pull his arm off

10. Pull his head off

11. Cover him in termites while he is asleep

12. Blow his puppets up

13. Attempt to make him into a cabinet

14. Attach strings to his arms and make him dance :p

15. Ask him hen he's going to propose to Deidara


	3. Itachi

A/N: I do not own Naruto

15 ways to annoy Itachi

1. Make him hug Sasuke. Take a photo of him hugging Sasuke and pin it up all over the Akatsuki hideout.

2. Ask him if his parents were drunk when they named him

3. Put black contacts in his eyes while he's asleep so he wakes up blind.

4. Glomp him

5. Ask him why he likes pink so much if he is supposed to be uber macho

6. Lock him in a room with Sasuke for 24 hours and see who comes out

7. When he goes blind, offer to lead him around. Make him crash into everything

8. Ask him why he left Sasuke alive when he killed everyone else

9. Ask him if he has unhealthy feelings for Sasuke

10. Ask him what the meaning of life is. If he answers keep asking why.

11. Spike his food. Capture the results on a hidden camera

12. Buy him a pet weasel for Christmas.

13. Give him a stuffed Sasuke doll for Christmas

14. Make him read a fanfic where he is paired with Kisame or Sasuke

15. Poke him. Constantly for 48 hours.


	4. Kisame

A/N: I do not own Naruto

15 ways to annoy Kisame

1. Cook him shark for dinner

2. Tell him Itachi is planning to Tsukiyomi him the next time he gets drunk

3. Steal Samehada

4. Take him to see jaws, and ask Kisame if he will introduce you to his father

5. Hum the Jaws theme tune whenever he enters the room

6. Keep reminding him that Itachi's fan base OWNES his

7. Ask him who he is every 5 minutes

8. Ask him how his parents met…and if 'it' was consensual

9. Ask why he's so blue

10. Run around panicking about finding him a fish tank

11. Take him to underwater world, and ask him to introduce you to his mother/father

12. Stare at him

13. Ask him how much hair gel he uses

14. Attempt to cook him for dinner

15. Lock him in a room with a hungry Zetsu


	5. Kakuzu

A/N: I do not own Naruto

15 ways to annoy Kakuzu

1. Ask him why he didn't make himself prettier

2. Ask him if he has unhealthy feelings for Hidan

3. Tie him up and shred his money. In front of him

4. Pull his arms off.

5. Ask him to knit you a poncho

6. Buy him a lamb's heart for Christmas

7. Remind him that he is going to die. A lot.

8. Spend all of his money of Pokémon cards

9. Steal his mask. Blame it on Tobi

10. Draw Jashin-symbols all over his room

11. Give him a pay cut

12. Kick him 'down there' and say you were checking it was still attached

13. Shave his hair off

14. Invite him to take part in one of Hidan's rituals

15. Lock him in a room with a hyperactive Tobi for 24 hours


	6. Hidan

A/N: I do not own Naruto

15 ways to annoy Hidan

1. Attempt to convert him to Christianity

2. Yell "THE POWER OF CHRIST REPELS YOU!!" while shoving a cross in his face.

3. Hit him with a fridge while yelling "WHY DON'T YOU DIE!!"

4. Spray him with Holy Water

5. Glue him to Kakuzu

6. Give him a swear jar

7. Blow him up and don't let Kakuzu stitch him back together

8. Glue his mouth shut

9. Ask him if he's gay

10. Tell him he'll catch his death unless he puts a shirt on

11. Tell him Jashin is "NOT happy Jan"

12. Scream and run away whenever you see him

13. Call him a zombie

14. Send Ghostbusters after him

15. Get him drunk, and bury him.


	7. Zetsu

A/N: I do not own Naruto

15 ways to annoy Zetsu

1. Put him on a diet

2. Forbid him from eating meat

3. Make him read a fanfic where he is paired with Tobi

4. Glue him to a hyperactive Tobi

5. Paint his shell hot pink. Write 'Tobi is a good boy' on it.

6. Confuse him with cheesy move lines. (E.g. be holding some weedkiller, and say "Say hello to ma little friend!!")

7. Steal his pet pot plants

8. Make him eat salad every night for a week

9. Glue his shell shut. Video him running around blind

10. Tell Deidara that Zetsu said he could turn him into art

11. Ask him if he has unhealthy feelings for Tobi

12. Kick him 'down there' to check he is a guy

13. Paint his white half black and his black half white while he is asleep

14. Blow up his pot plants

15. Make him imitate Vicky Pollard from Little Britain


	8. Tobi

A/N: I do not own Naruto

15 ways to annoy Tobi

1. Tell him he's a bad boy

2. Steal his mask

3. Tell him 'Deidara-senpai' wants to blow him up

4. Dress up as Zetsu and chase him around threatening to eat him

5. Paint his mask pink

6. Give him to Orochimaru

7. Dress up as Sasori, and haunt him

8. Tie him up and roll him through a teleporter

9. Explain where babies come from…

10. Steal his shoes

11. Eat his shoes

12. Call him a retard. Over and over and over…

13. Keep calling him Obito by 'accident'

14. Take his sugar away

15. Put putty in the eye-hole in his mask


	9. Konan

A/N: I do not own Naruto

15 ways to annoy Konan

1. Shred all her origami

2. Chase her around with the paper-shredder

3. Tell her Pein has a new girlfriend

4. Ask her if she's dating Itachi

5. Ask her if she's related to Kisame (you know, with the blue hair and all…)

6. Steal her flower

7. Tell her what freaks her and Pein's kids would be. (Orange and blue hair…)

8. Steal her nail polish

9. Dye her hair pink while she is asleep

10. Ask her if she is related to Sakura when she wakes up

11. Shave her head while she is asleep

12. Act like she is pregnant

13. Whenever she creates a new origami creature, scream and pour water over it

14. Steal her cloak

15. Ask her why she likes such an ugly guy


	10. Pein

A/N: I do not own Naruto

15 ways to annoy Pein

1. Ask him why he's so ugly

2. Ask him why Konan likes such and ugly guy

3. Ask if he wants to play darts with you coz his eyes make perfect targets

4. Stick magnets to his face

5. Dye his hair pink while he's asleep

6. Ask him whether he's Naruto's father

7. Ask him if he can make it rain sake. If he says no, ask him why not. If he says yes, keep asking him to do it until he does.

8. Make him drink the sake until he is drunk, and film the results. Send the tape to Tsunade and Gaara

9. Tell Konoha all of Akatsuki's plans

10. Steal his earrings, nose rings, lip rings, ect

11. Make all the Akatsuki members leave Akatsuki and join your evil club

12. Treat him like a child

13. Drop an anvil on him

14. Ask him if he's always been insane, or whether this is a recent thing

15. Set all the Bijuu free!


End file.
